Nighttime Comics Take Aim At Trump's New 'Gold Card' Residency Program

TV's top comedians used their airtime mocking ex-President Donald Trump's recently launched immigration initiative, labeled the "golden visa," describing it as a blatant pay-to-play arrangement for the wealthy.

Colbert's Pointed Spin

Kicking off his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical holiday tune about the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, and then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... spoils everything he handles."

Colbert's target was the new plan that permits foreign individuals to buy U.S. legal status for an investment of a million dollars, or "top-tier" option for five million. An official portal guarantees processing "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief thought for you to wealthy foreigners: before you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He noted that the card is also meant to "get cash" from businesses wanting to hire foreign workers, involving hefty fees. "That is a lot of fees, however if you register, you additionally get free accommodation at a property of your selection – provided that it's the a specific Marriott," he added.

"The best screening the government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will let wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your choice."

"It might be time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel lampooned the lack of detail of the application, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Economic Issues

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging approval ratings amid economic worries. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were upset about the economy," he said.

This week, in a attempt to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, where he reacted strangely to some cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so extremely weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by mocking conservative media coverage of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he remarked.